Hurrah...?
I'm graduating.
After four years of university, I am graduating. It is meant to be a huge thing right? I didn't know this information until two days ago.
I have crapped my pants before. But I have never been so nervous or shocked to actually feel like there is a possibility there will be a turd present in my knickers (one of the few pairs I have left).
What the fuck am I meant to do? OK, I may not be graduating. It has not been confirmed. I don't want to confirm it. I like having that power. I like being a uni student. It gives me a reason to not spend my precious money and it gives me a reason to escape certain situations and people ("I've got this HUGE assignment I need to finish").
But if I were to, am I meant to get a mundane, boring, black white and grey office job? No offence to those who do work in offices...but I can't for the moment say anything to comfort you.
My parents don't know, my ex boyfriend (wow that's really strange to say) doesn't really get how big it is. My sisters and brother don't know. Three of my friends know. I don't know if I want to tell the rest of them. I am quite happy wearing the cap and gown for noone to see. I think though if someone does see me in the cap and gown, they will expect big things...or even medium things from me. But I will never be able to fill anyone's expectations. Not in the next three years at least.
What to do? Maybe I should not fill the forms. Maybe I should just drop out so my parents aren't disppointed with the dismal GPA. Maybe I should just roll right onto an upright knife and end this shit once and for all. Or maybe I will fill out the forms. I can take life mintute by minute. Totally disregard my five year plan. Then I could just become one of those full time retail people who don't know when to stop talking in their high pitched, degreading retail voices.
What to do indeed. Right now, getting really drunk is good.
After four years of university, I am graduating. It is meant to be a huge thing right? I didn't know this information until two days ago.
I have crapped my pants before. But I have never been so nervous or shocked to actually feel like there is a possibility there will be a turd present in my knickers (one of the few pairs I have left).
What the fuck am I meant to do? OK, I may not be graduating. It has not been confirmed. I don't want to confirm it. I like having that power. I like being a uni student. It gives me a reason to not spend my precious money and it gives me a reason to escape certain situations and people ("I've got this HUGE assignment I need to finish").
But if I were to, am I meant to get a mundane, boring, black white and grey office job? No offence to those who do work in offices...but I can't for the moment say anything to comfort you.
My parents don't know, my ex boyfriend (wow that's really strange to say) doesn't really get how big it is. My sisters and brother don't know. Three of my friends know. I don't know if I want to tell the rest of them. I am quite happy wearing the cap and gown for noone to see. I think though if someone does see me in the cap and gown, they will expect big things...or even medium things from me. But I will never be able to fill anyone's expectations. Not in the next three years at least.
What to do? Maybe I should not fill the forms. Maybe I should just drop out so my parents aren't disppointed with the dismal GPA. Maybe I should just roll right onto an upright knife and end this shit once and for all. Or maybe I will fill out the forms. I can take life mintute by minute. Totally disregard my five year plan. Then I could just become one of those full time retail people who don't know when to stop talking in their high pitched, degreading retail voices.
What to do indeed. Right now, getting really drunk is good.
posted by one word letters at 8:02 PM
5 Comments:
good luck.
Thank you Patt. For some reason, that is helping calm down my hysterical mind. That and the bourbon. Calming.
Graduating was terrifying. Huge room, lots of people, big old building, revoltingly proud parents... Then again, if you do this for them they'll go easy on you if you get married :)
Have some more bourbon...
Come down here and move in with me, Mish, and Charli. It'll be one big lovefest, but without the lesbianism. Just a lot of drinking and laughing. And we're working-class folk, so don't be afraid, oh young uni student.
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