My life revolves around...

Sex, power and shit. In that order. Let me explain how.

My life revolves around sex because...I love sex. Currently deciding whether I want a good old bang or love making. Hot sexy week away at the beautiful sunshine coast is coming up. Will hopefully have so much rompy pompy I won't have to think about it for weeks. Oh, and isn't it the purpose of life? To have sex then have babies?

My life revolves around power. I've come to a realisation that I like to be powerful in what I do. I do this by organising other people. If people live the way I live or work the way I work, then, I will never be confused, therefore, it seems as if I know everything. A bad habit...or a good one? Not quite sure yet. Have organised everyone at work. Plus two other stores. I have organised two houses and have successfully re-written every filing cabinet label, within these vacinities, in my hand-writing. Ah, accomplishment.

My life revolves around shit. I have come to this conclusion because in the last few weeks, no matter who I am with, the conversation always comes back to poop.

Examples are as follows...

Out with uni friends:
"Did you want another drink?"
"Did you ask me if I wanted to take a shit?!"
"No, did you need a drink?"
"Yeah but not now."
"Why? Do you need to take a shit?"
"No. Yes."

Dinner conversation with old friends:
"So, how much are you leaving me in your will?"
"Hey wait, I have a better question..."
"What?"
"If it were up to you to save my life, would you if the only way of doing so was to eat my poo?"
"How much are we talking here?"
"Just a nugget..."
"Um..."

Waking up in the morning after a big night out:
"D, why don't I ever hear you fart in the morning?"

Receiving messages at 8:45am that read:
"This morning: 7 - large bowl of all bran... 715 - baked beans... 750 - toilet... 815 - skinny latte... at present - staff toilet."

I love being friends with people with unhealthy minds.

Three things your life revolves around? Please, enlighten me so I don't feel like such a perverted obsessive compulsive.